And so you know what I'm doing? Giving myself the big ol' 'fuck you'.
I am sick of this shit. So, so sick of it. I would like nothing better than to scruff myself by the neck, drag myself outside the metaphorical bar of life and king hit my inner self in my stupid inner face.
For the last 11 years I've lived with an intruder. A stupid intruder that whispers in my ear, goads me, distorts my vision, forces me to obey, and controls me. A stupid, evil compulsion.
Today I'm calling a stop to it. In fact, I'm declaring war.
I'm angry that I've put my mental and physical health before a stupid compulsion for too long.
I mean business - when I say 'I'm done', I really mean it.
So today I am done. No more binging. No more purging. No more starving. No more emotional beatings.
After years of failing and accepting defeat, I will now win... And this is where I'll chronicle it.
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Also, crisis today on the home front. I've misplaced my vibrator. I, uh... have no words. I just hope that it won't wind up found in the toy box or bag of clothes destined for Salvation Army.
